How do you stop a child from refusing to do something?

This question made me giggle. I have to be honest!

I was asked this question the other day by a potential new client.

First of all, you don’t ‘stop a child’ from refusing to do something. If they refuse, that is their choice.

You can provide them with strategies to support them to actually want to do something. Now that is different isn’t it?

Let me give you some real life examples from my own clients.

Client 1

I gave my child a 12 piece puzzle and she looked at me and said, “No, I’m not doing it!”

At the stage of year where we are currently, this is not a problem. It will become a problem let’s say around August/ September.

At the end of the day, your child will need to go into their Assessment/s and do what they are told! Sorry to put it so bluntly. So if they say ‘No!’ in the Assessment, they will definitely not pass.

If your child tells you that they don’t want to do a puzzle, first of all ask them ‘Why?’

They may have a reason.

Perhaps they perceive it to be too hard for them.

Perhaps they want to do something else.

Perhaps they simply are not in the mood for a puzzle.

What I see too often is the child saying no and the parent getting frustrated about it. Not helpful.

Ask why and listen to your child’s answer.

Tell them that it isn’t a problem and try again later. You might find they say “Yes!”

Client 2

My child refuses to write. She just doesn’t want to even hold her pencil.

Again, at this point in the year, this isn’t a problem. It will be a problem if they are still refusing to do it around August/September time. In some Assessments at 4+, your child will need to write and they will need to write well in order to pass!

If your child currently does not want to write, please don’t make it a problem.

It needs to come from your child.

They need to want to write.

Model it to them. Show them how much YOU love writing.

Provide other writing opportunities for them that don’t involve holding a pencil.

‘Writing’ with their finger in sand/water.

‘Writing’ on your back.

‘Writing’ on the wall/glass.

For more incredible strategies from a professional who knows each school and what they are expecting, book your Sample lesson today.